THE JESUS BLOG

It's resurrected, bitches! In honor of the season... although I suppose that would actually be Easter. Anyhow, we are back in business-- the business of avoiding our subsequent businesses at all costs.

Speaking of seasonal humor, the true inspiration for this came from an amusing incident last weekend. As Christmas is the season of giving, you are sure to encounter on a per block basis a plethora of various charitable solicitations. Where there's a 5 gallon water jug...

Heading towards Columbus Circle, I encountered one such table and plastic jug. However, I judged it to be unmanned with great relief. There's nothing that makes you feel more shit than to ignore the less fortunate on Christmas. (Are holidays not designed ultimately to make us all feel like wretched human beings-- either through self-reflection, being asked "how's your love life" for teh 23058230th time, or blatant disregard for the welfare of others?)

Thankful to actually NOT have to blank the volunteer who you can only assume to be a person with an actual heart who does not in fact merely step over the homeless, I continued to walk on my merry way...

When I hear verbatim:

Heeyyy, Sexy

....... Care to make a donation to the homeless?

Both phrases in the same breath. Are you Serious? With that sales ploy yes I would like to donate my (imaginary) Christmas bonus!!

I have to admit that I was so taken aback that my outburst of laughter came nearly 20 meters past the stand. It took that long to process. Of course now I can only generalize this incident for my own convenience and assume that all volunteers are complete pervs and thus feel OK about never doing a single "nice" thing ever again.

I'm going to go play with the lump of coal I received in my stocking now. Har har har Actually I'm going to go back to drinking the delightful sambuca/espresso, which I employed my coworker to pick up from the corner liquor store...

HAPPY KWANZAA