Pick up the pace!

Ok, so as you are already aware, I spend entirely too much time surfing yahoo and google for useless news stories during the workday. Anyway, read this first:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070502/wl_uk_afp/britainsingapore_070502101857

Ok, so most would react to this by thinking, gee, some of us need to slow down in life, take a breather, what's the big hurry? WRONG.

Maybe it's the competitive side of me talking, but....COME ON NEW YORKERS, PICK UP THE FRIGGIN PACE. What I want to know is how a place like Madrid (wonderful city don't get me wrong, I spent 6 months there) whose productivity rate can be likened to that of a stoned ADDer missing his meds, can blow us all out of the water. And perhaps my feelings in this regard are also slightly self-interested because I'm sick of walking behind people all day that feel it's acceptable to practically get down on all fours and crawl to work.

Ok, so maybe I exaggerate, and it's pretty much safe to say that my perception is skewed as I don't exactly "walk" to work - I more compete in the Olympic one-mile dash to work. This might explain why subsequent to completion of my morning "walk" through the city, I:

a) Want to keel over and die
b) Have broken a sweat and need to re-apply travel-size deodorant included in bag for this very reason (pleasant, yes I know)
c) Have the nagging urge to check my watch for the final time clocked

I know I know. Why would I want to run like a maniac to work, a place to which I dread going every day? But this is not the point. I don't care where I'm going every morning, or where you're going, but no matter what, I know that I have to beat you there.

You others might not be aware that by embarking on a journey through the city streets each morning that you are also unknowlingly signing up for a highly competitive road race against the rest of us, but it's the truth whether you like it or not. If you choose to forfeit entry and not to participate, then you run the risk of being characterized by others that encounter you as one of those foreign creatures that tends to walk at a pace 1/10th the average rate, has the frequent urge to pull out a camera and photograph anything from McDonald's signs in Time Square to the "air" in general, tends to sport a fanny pack, and is likely to elect Olive Garden or TGIFridays as an acceptable place to eat in a city of about 915028190 restaurants....otherwise known as the dreaded New York City "tourist".

With such considerations in mind, if you are a commuter or New Yorker, you may just want to strap on those running shoes and take part in that morning race afterall. And plus, myself and my few other crazy friends are getting sick of trying to hold up New York's speedwalking average rate on our own.

So come on New Yorkers and commuters, pick up the freaking pace already, before our average starts dipping to dangerously low Midwestern levels.