I'm an incredibly positive and non-sarcastic person

Ok this is going to be really hard, but I'm going to try to write something positive that doesn't make people want to jump off of the Empire State Building after reading.

Hmmm....and I'm blanking, so I'm just going to make fun of people instead.

So I know I'm breaking the cardinal rule that forbids talking about work on the Blog, but I feel as though it would be a crime if I didn't share with you all some details about a few of the characters I've encountered at work...

1) BB
BB, otherwise known as "British Bitch," sports a boy hairdo and utters highly audible atrocious things daily in a thick British accent. She has been spotted verbally abusing her child over the phone, making her subordinates cry and hide under desks, and attacking co-workers on their choices of lunch foods in the company cafeteria.

2) SM
SM, otherwise known as "small midget" (yes I'm aware there is a redundancy there but both words are needed for emphasis), has an obviously short stature but nonetheless makes her presence known by yelling outrageous things to any that might cross her path. She is often accompanied by BB and is feared by many.

I've also encountered the following:

1) Attorney who puts on fake southern accent when speaking with her one imaginary client on the phone
2) Secretary who sprints 100 meter dashes across office floor to greet clients at the door
3) Male administrative assistant known to tell numerous pathological lies, but fear not, he does not fit into the PL asshole category.

I'm going to stop now. If you would like further details, I can provide them via private email. Or you can just wait to see them in the reality show that premieres, which will blow "The Office" out of the water.